Egg: HEY LIL DONNIE, GUESS WHAT? I EMPTIED MY COLOSTOMY BAG RIGHT INTO MY HOTEL'S ROOM'S HAIRDRYER. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIKE THAT DONNIE? I SPRAYED AEROSOLIZED HUMAN WASTE ALL OVER MY FUCKING HOTEL ROOM DONNIE. MY DOMICILE AND ALL MY BELONGINGS ARE NOW SATURATED WITH A THICK MIASMA OF FECES AND PISS, LIL DONNIE.
Egg: I AM LITERALLY BREATHING IN SHOTS OF MY OWN SHIT RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH OF A COWARD YOU ARE DONDON. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE DONNIE? I POPPED ONE OF MY FUCKING HEMORRHOIDS. IT WAS LIKE A CHERRY GUSHER HAD SEX WITH A  SUPERSOAKER, JUST LIKE HOW I HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE WHO ARENT MY WIFE. HOW'S THAT LIL DONNIE?
Egg: I COMPARED MY HEMORRHOIDS TO CHEATING ON MY FUCKING WIFE. BETCHA WOULDN'T DO THAT LIL DON, DON THE MON, DONDON, DONNIE.